The Walking Matchstick
by Adversity-X
Summary: As far as it goes, matsticks are getting revenge, the door is intent on beating people up and best of all, the book shall have its vengence, so come in and read


A/N: … I don't own anyone in the film or series and excuse any mistakes or typos

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On this peaceful day of wonder and love, where flying squirrels played poker and magic ruled the world of… ahem… Gaea, chipmunks created McDonalds and Spam was very popular, even regarded as a God to many. 

On this particular day, Dilandau had apparently committed a sinful crime known as staying out past curfew, as Folken 'kindly' put it. Load of sarcasm there and as punishment, was forced to read rather to his humiliation; the **_one and only_** PICTURE BOOK for 3 year olds. Dilandau swore that the book was laughing at him with its pictures, as far as he knew the book was called 'SPOT touch and feel' not in the sense that he could read a word of it, but in the sense that he had been told so. He jabbed with a knife at the material in various parts of the book, twitching and in the end, threw the book down and lit a match, his face turning from rage to satisfaction as he leaned towards the book with a flame flickering on a stick in his grasp.

Meanwhile his minions as he likes to call them were playing 'Go Fish' in the kitchen as I, whilst Shesta made gingerbread animals to many people's dismay. Since when could he cook? You may be wondering at this stage how a kitchen came to be in a place such as this, as all they needed to do was get a takeaway, but that story shall be told at another time. So far so good, none of them had been beaten up and supposed Dilandau to be in a good mood, if such a thing was possible. Milk spilled over the floor, as an angry shriek echoed across the corridors and through open doors and windows. The Slayers all jumped and flinched from the sound, the windows shuddering and threatening to break. Looking up from their cards they silently stared at one another and in unison chorused the one question in each of their minds

"A girl…?" Before staring at each other again, Gatty, took the chance to sneak a peek at Miguel's cards, before pretending to look startled again. Another screech sounded around the rooms and corridors

"God, Dallet, you sound like girl!" Miguel yelled, hands over ears and glaring at the figure quivering on a chair staring in horror at the floor

"It's a spider!" Dallet shrieked, pointing at a spot closest to Shesta, everyone crawled to the spot and found that he was only going on about the tiny miniscule money spider, which was scuttling around. Dallet hopped off the chair and proceeded to squish it in a girly manner. Everyone sweat dropped as he hopped around squealing when it came near to him. Shesta protectively grabbed the spider and squished it in his hand by accident, everyone did an anime style fall; he began to sniff and mourn for Squishy.

"Poor poor Squishy, you had so much to live for…"

"It has a name now?" ;; Guimel sweat dropped

"It isn't an IT! It's a SHE!" Shesta glared, before a silence cast itself upon the room and everyone sweat dropped, as tumbleweed floated past. Another scream rang around the Vione, the same as the first

"Now I'm sure it's a girl" Viole muttered as he pushed open the door and cautiously poked his head out, the door had other ideas and shut itself

"YIPES!" Viole screeched, with a groan of pain as the door hit him in the neck and head, Guimel released his purple haired friend, as everyone did another anime style fall. This time, as Viole withdrew with a sigh of relief and rubbed his head and neck, he was yanked back. The door had got him again, but this time by the hair

"My hair! Hey give it back! . " The door did nothing and when he last expected it, the door swung forward and hit him in the face before shutting itself again.

"DAMN DOOR" he yelled, shaking his fist, which was covered in tic marks, everyone stared at him as if he had gone insane, which technically he had

"I'll show you! . " he still remained shaking a fist at the door and yelling many colourful and abusive language, everyone twitched and stared, as he prepared to get revenge as one calls it… on the door! Fun or what?

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And so it goes, this will be the end until the next chapter, because I am lazy and I don't feel like telling you things you may want to or not want to know! 

Who was screaming? Was it a girl, with a very girly scream?

What happened to the poor book?

What is to become of the door?

And so many other questions people may or may not think of, but yeah I have school, but I can still probably update… if I feel that it is time, which shouldn't be too long away

Excuse this if it wasn't interesting or funny, I am at fault and you may flame me if you wish, as my humour is wavering and if it was good, well I guess that is a really good thing. Just don't be too harsh when flaming me, if you do.


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